ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
