the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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