Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
