ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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