i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
