My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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