Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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