they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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