There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
