my shit smells like andre
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think a kid would responsible me up
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
