She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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