Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
