You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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