there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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