i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Omg I joined a choir last night...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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