"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
