There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
