Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
