dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
