Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
