Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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