i just wanna soil my oats bro
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
