I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
