We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
