did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
