so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just gift wrapped bread.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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