is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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