WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
