OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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