watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
