And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
