Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
