You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
