North Korea, Best Korea!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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