Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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