hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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