You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
