maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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