I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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