So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
