Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
worst night to have a conscience
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
