Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
