Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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