I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
