After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
