...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
