Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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