Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
