Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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