What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
