we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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