My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
