First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
