Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just made out with a guy for $7.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My life is pants optional.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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