I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
