nut hugger
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
