Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
