Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
