Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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