Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
