this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
