Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
